I love dancing. I love it so much that my imaginations throw me out from the world that sets me aside and call me names. It’s like my escape. It’s my refuge from the psychological and emotional torture that I may get if people see me move. The struggle is real and no matter what good people say; there will always be a lot more others who will think otherwise. I am a victim of circumstance, a choice my family and I failed to make years back. I went through the challenges, the pain, and everything else that came with being fat, but I didn’t grow up hateful of myself. Not once, because I know I am unconditionally loved despite anything. I am one of the lucky ones; unfortunately, not everyone has the same fate as mine.
In the world I created inside my head, I am the best dancer. I imagine myself being cheered and applauded for a performance only I can pull off. Sometimes, to make it even more surreal; I lock myself in my room, turn the music up, close my eyes, and give whatever I got to move every inch of my body. It’ always liberating and funny. I laugh at myself most of the time because I can imagine how weird I must look or how odd it must be for someone like me to move it. I keep everything to myself because I felt like no one has to know about it knowing that in this world, there are people who will always make life difficult to live.
It wasn’t long ago when I finally gave in and decided to let the change process take place. It’s not because I wanted to look like everyone else, but because I wanted to live a healthier life. I gathered the courage to enroll myself in a gym in the hopes of working out my self-esteem more than my muscles. I was given a routine I religiously followed everyday not batting an eye to the onlookers whom by the looks of it, judged me silently in the back of their minds. “How the hell did he get so big like that?” said one douche to his girlfriend. That question got stuck in my head for a while as I repeated it to myself over and over again everyday. I finally gave up when I found nothing but excuses in my head on how I allowed myself to get SO BIG. I simply went on with my goal of losing the excess weight. After several physically strenuous weeks in the gym, I learned that there were free cardio classes available for me to join: yoga, stationary biking, hiphop, and zumba. It was a turning point in my life, knowing how great my love for dancing is and the perfect opportunity I am presented with, I grabbed the chance. I joined the hiphop and zumba classes. It’s my first time to see myself in the mirror dancing. It was a difficult scene to watch as it didn’t look right at all. I was a big blob of mass moving around that anybody who gets in my way will be incessantly squished. I tried to keep distance from my classmates, but eventually as days went on, they were the ones who draw themselves closer to me with an open arms. I felt accepted and I felt like I finally belonged to a world I was so scared of for the longest time. I kept dancing and eventually realized the smile I bring to the faces of people who watch me. I was making people happy. They weren’t laughing at me, they laugh with me and that’s one of the healthiest feeling I’ve ever felt in my life.
Fast forward to today, with a little help from my friend (*ehem Lloyd ehem*) in amplifying the happiness I wanna share with the world through my love for dancing, we managed to create videos that made a lot of people happy. From the numerous personal messages I’m getting to the thousands of kind words we read in the comment section of the videos we post; we are very grateful. The day I decided to to change the way I think, to follow the beat of my heart, the sound of my voice and the gut feeling that tells me I’m doing what is right is the day I told myself that I am bound for something greater. I believed in myself more because others believed in me, with me. I am not just doing what I love, but I’m actually doing something that transforms the world to be a better place; that makes a lot of difference.
The recent video released by Smart inspired me to share my story with you and I hope that somehow, in one way or another you will be inspired as well to share yours. We all have unique struggles in life and it is up to us if we will allow it to hinder us from making our dreams a reality or push us forward to be the difference we want to see in the world. kemper
Please allow me to share with you our crazy dance videos if you haven’t seen it yet. I hope this makes you smile today. 🙂
With almost 7 MILLION views in Facebook and Youtube combined, our BONAKID 3+ parody!
With over 2.5 MILLION views in Facebook and Youtube combined, our TRUMPETS CHALLENGE!
Finally, please allow me to conclude this post with a song which I hope you can share as well to everyone who deals with a similar struggle as mine in our society. Let us stop making life difficult for people who has to deal with their imperfections day by day; instead, let us do everything we can in all ways we can with an open heart and an open mind to make the world…
MARAMING MARAMING SALAMAT PO SA MGA NGITI AT TIWALA!