The hedgehog’s dilemma, or sometimes the porcupine dilemma, is an analogy about the challenges of human intimacy. It describes a situation in which a group of hedgehogs all seek to become close to one another in order to share heat during cold weather. They must remain apart, however, as they cannot avoid hurting one another with their sharp spines. Though they all share the intention of a close reciprocal relationship, this may not occur, for reasons they cannot avoid.
Have you ever had that feeling of being intimate with someone yet you just can’t because it’s better if you two are apart? I’m sure most of us, if not all, experienced it at one point in our lives; unfortunately, there are people in this world, like me, who experiences it more than often enough…
It’s the same feeling as seeing a full color printed spandex tablecloth in your kitchen table, yet you don’t wanna use it so you put another sheet of placemat to protect it. It’s amazingly beautiful that you’d rather not. In the human world, this is mostly the case. Too much love makes us sacrifice even the ones we love the most just so not to hurt them. We’d rather get ourselves hurt. This is how the drama plays out. This is selfish.
It’s not a gamble. It’s not a risk. It’s merely a choice we make for our happiness. Someone has to get hurt and that is the sad reality of it all. We need not distance ourselves, but embrace the fact that whatever we feel right now comes with whatever we feel towards another. We affect each other. To combat this, we simply need to be tough on the inside and let not our emotions steer us to different directions.
The Hedgehog’s Dilemma is self-inflicted, like all other uncomfortable circumstances we face everyday. It’s something sad and miserable, but we can avoid this as long as we stay true to ourselves. We are vulnerable creations and in the realm of our existence, we know that we cannot simply live apart. Hurting yourself is part of the process, hurting others makes you realize where you stand. Getting through with it alive and happy is all that matters. Veer away from these kind of things or you’ll end up like a loner hedgehog simply because he cannot accept the fact that he is capable of hurting others. Never sacrifice your own happiness. 🙂