Rhythm and Blues

May 15, 14 • Everyday, RandomnessNo CommentsRead More »

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I’m trying to fondle with my thoughts hoping it would relieve me from disgrace over things that bothers me. I’m trying to pull off a comedic stance over irritationalities surrounding me and the organization I am a part of now. I don’t seem to get the laugh or the funny out of anything. All is converted into hate and unreasonable amounts of stress that obfuscate the definition of ‘nice’ I’ve conceptualized over the years. I seem to go back to my original state most of the time because that’s the only escape I know from people who merely live and not take chances…

There’s a disconnect and that discordant note in my sheet is just a small part of the bigger sentiment I have over near impossible initiatives. How can one move forward if no one wants to face the real problem? How can one be great if everyone is contented with temporary fixtures? And how can one be part of the solution when he’s too busy addressing woes resulting from years of dormancy and outdated ideals?

Am I the problem? Am I part of it? Do I have anything to do with it?

Yes. Of course, but after all time consuming pondering and reflection; I found a greater obstacle in the path. I know it’s a choice and I know that your success in an organization depends on your resiliency and ability to handle your colleagues, management, and most importantly, yourself. In one way or another I have committed errors and I accept that, but out of those errors too I have proven that I am alone and that there is no one willing to take the blame with me. No one wants to take risks. No one is brave enough to handle stress way beyond their comfort. I am not unfair, I am saying this because I came to see it myself and it’s a choice I made in all hopes of making a better person out of my segmented mediocrity.

No one is perfect. I am not. But hell I know what hell looks like when I see one. I am becoming a detriment to my supervisor’s goal of becoming a top notch and that makes me feel guilty, but the thing is; the harder I push, the greater the resistance I get from different concerned parties. I have outgrown myself and I became aware enough that I now start to meddle with internal issues and management directives which I find unconventional and naive. My world becomes smaller each passing day. I don’t wanna be part of the system. I cannot allow myself to be compressed in a way that would limit my passion and drive to bring out the best in every person I work with. That’s how concerned I am and that’s how I envision every undertaking that comes my way. I cannot just earn, I need to see changes; moreso, I need to see willingess to change.

I may be crazy enough to dream of change or wrong enough to approach it that way; I’m taking my chances and I’m taking every bit of it. I love my job, I fell in love with my organization, and I have big dreams for it. I wanna wear my hat high and proud, but I just hope too that everyone else feels the same way. Change is inevitable, but in my world now; in the world of technology where every bit of data is transferred and processed in a milli of a second, change must happen faster than a blink of an eye…

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